there were cookies and cake. everyone said good bye. it was bittersweet and i shook some hands of people. many of these people have in some ways become family to me with all the hours we put in. i hope the best for them and appreciate their good byes more then they’ll know.

i vomited twice before lunch from nerves or cancer. handfuls of foam.

as usual there are songs on loop, time crawls with a tenacious grasp on each second that passed before it.

my goal for the day was accomplished – i managed to shower and shave, looking presentable and clean. reeking of desperation and approval. needing more hugs then tori amos.

said once to a friend, “remember me your name if we meet again and i’ll buy you a beer,” unspoken; the intent was to simply remember myself.

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“you know you can do no wrong by me.”

that is the balloon string that i’m tethered to, aiding me along my way.